top of page
Search

Maintaining the Inner Road: A Practical Path Through Depression


When Your Mind Becomes the Hardest Place to Live


There are times when everything looks fine on paper, yet getting through the day feels heavy in a way that’s hard to explain. You might be eating, working, showing up, and still feel cut off from anything that once felt meaningful.


I know that experience well. For me, it started early in life, long before I had language for it or reasons that made sense. Over time, I learned that depression doesn’t always come from what’s happening around us. Sometimes it comes from what’s happening inside us, and how disconnected we’ve become from ourselves.


The Road That Connects You to Life


I think about the mind like a single road connecting us to the rest of the world. When that road is clear, connection can reach us. Meaning can reach us. Even small moments of relief can get through.


When that road breaks down, everything feels distant, even the things we care about.


In my own life, neglecting sleep, food, movement, and human contact slowly eroded that road. Not because I didn’t know better, but because I felt undeserving of care. Over time, isolation deepened, and the world felt unreachable, even when it was right in front of me.


The Light Between the Leaves book by The Depression Doctor, Clinical Psychologist Dr. Scott Eilers

Why Self-Care Is Not Optional


Self-care isn’t a reward you earn after you feel better. It’s the work that allows feeling to return at all.


When I stop eating regularly, stop sleeping, or stop leaving the house, my mind disconnects quickly. The fog thickens. Reality starts to feel unreal. That spiral doesn’t come from weakness. It comes from neglect.


Maintaining mental health starts with meeting basic needs consistently, especially when motivation is low. Nourishment, rest, movement, and some form of connection aren’t luxuries. They’re maintenance. Like the road itself, they need attention even when conditions are rough.


Choosing Maintenance Over Self-Blame


One of the most damaging beliefs I carried was that suffering meant I had failed in some moral way. That belief kept me from caring for myself when I needed it most.


Self-contempt collapses the road faster. Care, even imperfect care, begins to rebuild access.

I can’t control the world. I can’t guarantee pain won’t return. What I can do is keep myself reachable to the few good things that might find me. That practice has kept me alive longer than I ever expected.


Progress Doesn’t Come From Forcing Hope


This work isn’t about fixing everything. It’s about keeping the road open enough that life has a chance to reach you.


Start small. Eat something. Sleep when you can. Step outside, even briefly. Speak to someone safe. These aren’t dramatic acts. They’re steady ones.


Progress doesn’t come from forcing hope. It comes from making yourself accessible to it. And that path, even when it’s uneven, is one you can maintain.



(If this post hit home, you’ll probably connect with my new book, The Light Between the Leaves. It’s a practical guide for the days when “try harder” stops working.


-Scott

Want practical tools for navigating life with depression and anxiety, delivered right to you every week?

Resources. 


My Books



FAQ

Q: Can anxiety routines be a sign of depression?Yes. Many people with high-functioning depression use anxiety routines as coping strategies. These routines often mask deeper struggles but also keep people stuck.


Q: What’s the difference between healthy preparation and an anxiety routine?Preparation helps you engage with life. Anxiety routines prevent you from living it. The difference is whether the habit expands or shrinks your world.


Q: What if I’ve tried therapy and it hasn’t helped?You’re not broken. Traditional therapy often overlooks people who need practical, science-based strategies. That’s why I share tools that most mental health providers aren’t teaching.





Comments

bottom of page