Finding Excitement Again: How Small Sparks Can Shift a Depressive Episode
- Dr. Scott Eilers, PsyD, LP
- Dec 19, 2025
- 4 min read
If you’re finding it impossible to feel motivated, even though you’re doing everything “right”, I’ve been there.
Those stretches where you wake up heavy and flat, where nothing interests you, can feel endless. For years, I couldn’t figure out why some depressive episodes eventually cracked open while others seemed immovable. Over time, I finally noticed a pattern:
The shift almost always began with something small, a moment of genuine excitement breaking through the numbness.
Not a dramatic breakthrough. Not a life overhaul. Just a spark.
Rediscovering What Still Feels Good
My first spark showed up in adolescence, long after I had stopped feeling anything consistently. A new game I’d been waiting for released. I didn’t expect it to help. But minutes into playing, something flickered, enjoyment. It was tiny, but it was real.
That moment didn’t end the depression, but it reminded me:
My brain was still capable of lighting up.
That one spark pushed me to start looking for other things that could give me even a fraction of that feeling. And that search, in itself, was momentum.
Finding Excitement Through Connection
Another spark came from something I never imagined I’d care about: football.
I worked in a restaurant where coworkers talked about it nonstop. Their energy got to me. One Saturday morning, I turned on a game “just to see what the hype was about.” And it pulled me in.
Feeling part of something, even quietly, broke through the sense of isolation that depression builds around you.
Sometimes excitement doesn’t come from the thing itself, it comes from the people you get to share it with.
Proof That Your Effort Still Matters
A few years later, I joined a gym with a friend, not because I believed in myself, but because I didn’t want to lose the friendship. Months passed. One day, I saw a photo of myself and barely recognized my own body, in the best way.
It was the first time in my life I saw visible proof that my effort could change something.
That moment didn’t just spark excitement, it sparked possibility. It reopened the door to routines, sleep, nutrition, discipline. Things I had ignored because I didn’t think they mattered.
Seeing Beauty and Skill in the World Again
Fragrances and watches came later. They weren’t random hobbies. They were invitations back into the world.
They reminded me that people create beautiful things, that detail matters, that craftsmanship exists, that something small can be worth noticing.
Those interests softened the bitterness I had built up. They gave me something to follow, something to look forward to, something to enjoy on days when enjoyment felt impossible.
Growing Something That Grows You Back
Most recently, it was a tiny cucumber in a garden bed I’d forgotten about. Every morning I checked on it. Every morning it had changed just a little.
It gave me something to care about. Something to root for. Something that made me step outside of myself.
Gardening taught me a lesson my brain had forgotten:
Slow progress still counts. Life keeps moving even when you feel stuck.
Forcing Passion Or Chasing Meaning
None of these sparks were dramatic. None forced a transformation.
But each one created an opening, a reminder that a part of me was still reachable. Still alive. Still capable of feeling.
Finding excitement isn’t about forcing passion or chasing meaning. It’s about staying open to the possibility that something small might catch your attention again, today, or tomorrow, or next week.
That one moment doesn’t have to fix everything. It just has to give you one reason to keep moving. Once that happens, the path forward gets a little clearer.
You deserve moments that feel good again. And they are still possible.
(If this post hit home, you’ll probably connect with my new book, The Light Between the Leaves. It’s a practical guide for the days when “try harder” stops working.
-Scott
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FAQ
Q: Can anxiety routines be a sign of depression?Yes. Many people with high-functioning depression use anxiety routines as coping strategies. These routines often mask deeper struggles but also keep people stuck.
Q: What’s the difference between healthy preparation and an anxiety routine?Preparation helps you engage with life. Anxiety routines prevent you from living it. The difference is whether the habit expands or shrinks your world.
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