Appreciating What You Have Before It’s Gone
- Dr. Scott Eilers, PsyD, LP
- 1 minute ago
- 3 min read
If you’re doing all the “right” things and still feel a quiet ache you can’t quite name, you’re not alone.
Life can look full on the outside and still feel strangely hollow on the inside. Often, that feeling isn’t about what’s missing. It’s about what’s already here slowly slipping past unnoticed.
Appreciation isn’t about positivity or gratitude lists. It’s about presence, learning to notice what matters before it becomes something you wish you’d held onto longer.
Remembering What Still Matters
One of the hardest truths I’ve had to accept is that the past is gone emotionally, not just logically. No amount of effort will make it feel the way it once did, even if the circumstances were recreated perfectly. That realization hurts, but it also frees you.
Once I stopped trying to recreate old moments, I finally had room to notice the ones happening right in front of me. Appreciating what you have isn’t about forcing gratitude. It’s about seeing clearly. Most of us don’t miss things while we have them. We miss them later, when regret adds weight to the loss. The work is about reducing that regret now.
Doing It Like It’s the Last Time
Some moments feel ordinary only because they’re familiar. Reading to your child. Driving the same road to work. Sitting quietly next to someone you love.
I didn’t know the last time I was on the farm would be the last time. If I had known, I would have been more present. I can’t change that, but I can do better now.
When I slow down and treat certain moments with care, not obsession, just care, they land differently. They stay with me longer.
Understanding the Real Value of Your Life
It’s easy to assign value to things with price tags. It’s much harder to feel wealthy because of relationships, memories, and daily stability. Yet those are the things quietly shaping your entire life.
There are people and experiences I wouldn’t trade for any amount of money. Remembering that reframes everything. It doesn’t erase stress or pain, but it steadies me when I forget what I already have.
Shifting Perspective Without Forcing Positivity
Perspective isn’t pretending everything is great. It’s noticing how extraordinary certain parts of your life would feel if they weren’t guaranteed.
When I catch myself overlooking the basics, warmth, safety, routine, I remind myself that comfort was once a luxury reserved for kings. That shift alone can soften a hard day.
Taking Inventory of What You’ve Built
One practice that grounds me is taking inventory, intentionally. Walking through my home and my life, naming what I’ve earned, what I’ve been given, and what I’ve protected.
It’s humbling in the best way. It reminds me I’m standing on more solid ground than my mind wants me to believe.
You don’t need to chase the past to have a meaningful life. You need to notice what’s already here. That shift takes practice, but it’s possible. And once it begins, the present stops feeling like something to get through and starts feeling like something worth holding onto.
(If this post hit home, you’ll probably connect with my new book, The Light Between the Leaves. It’s a practical guide for the days when “try harder” stops working.
-Scott
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