Mental Health Progress Takes Time (You're Not Failing)
- Dr. Scott Eilers, PsyD, LP
- 10 minutes ago
- 4 min read
If you are doing the work in therapy and still feel stuck, that can quietly wear you down. You show up. You practice the skills. You reflect. You care deeply about getting better. And yet, relief feels distant.
That gap between effort and visible improvement is where many people start to lose hope. Not because they are lazy. Not because they are resistant. But because they were never given a realistic timeline for mental health progress.
Why Mental Health Progress Feels So Slow
Most of us expect change to work like a light switch. You learn something new. You apply it. You feel better.
That expectation makes sense. We live in a world built around immediate feedback. When you send a message, you get a response. When you press a button, something happens. When you follow a recipe, you taste the result quickly.
Therapy does not work like that.
Mental health progress moves more like steering a massive ship than driving a car. You turn the wheel, and for a long time, it looks like nothing is happening. That delay can feel discouraging, but it is not a sign that the turn did not work. It is the nature of the system you are trying to influence.
Your brain is shaped by years, sometimes decades, of reinforced patterns. Repeated thoughts. Automatic reactions. Emotional habits. When you introduce a new skill, especially something like challenging self criticism or regulating anxiety differently, you are not undoing one event. You are gently shifting thousands of repetitions.
Neuroplasticity is real. But repetition is what activates it.
The Skill Is Not Broken. The Timeline Is.
A coping strategy gets used five or six times. The emotional relief is not dramatic. It gets labeled as not working and discarded. Then another strategy gets tried. Then another.
Eventually, people know dozens of techniques such as grounding, cognitive restructuring, breathing, journaling but trust none of them.
Thought challenging is a clear example. If you have believed for years that you are inadequate or unlovable, a few counter statements will not override that belief immediately. At first, it can feel like arguing with a wall.
What is actually happening is accumulation.
Each time you gently correct a harsh thought, you create a tiny data point. One correction will not move the system. A hundred might. A thousand almost certainly will. But you only see that shift when you zoom out over months, not days.
Mental health progress is often invisible while it is happening.
Why Evaluation Can Sabotage Growth
Another trap is constant self monitoring.
When every technique is measured by how quickly it changes how you feel, discouragement becomes almost inevitable. Emotional states fluctuate naturally. Some days will feel heavy even if you are doing everything right.
Instead of constantly asking, Is this working yet, try asking, Am I practicing consistently.
Consistency builds neural familiarity. Familiarity builds accessibility. Accessibility eventually builds relief.
That shift in mindset reduces pressure, and pressure often interferes with progress more than people realize.
The Foundations Matter More Than People Think
Mental health progress is also biological.
If you are not eating regularly, your blood sugar fluctuates. That affects irritability, focus, and emotional stability.
If you are not sleeping consistently, your prefrontal cortex, the part responsible for impulse control and rational thinking, functions less efficiently.
If you are not moving your body, stress hormones linger longer than they need to.
These basics do not feel therapeutic. They feel ordinary. But they create the physiological conditions that make therapy skills usable.
You cannot regulate a nervous system that is underfed and overtired.
The basics are not glamorous, but they are foundational.
Staying With It Long Enough to See Change
Mental health progress does not come from discovering the perfect method. It comes from staying with the right ones through the period where nothing appears to be happening.
If things feel stagnant, it may not mean you are failing. It may mean the turn has not shown up in visible ways yet.
Massive ships do change direction. They just do not announce it right away.
Often, progress is only visible in hindsight. A moment where you pause instead of react. A situation that once overwhelmed you now feels manageable. A thought that still appears but no longer dominates.
Those are signs the system is shifting.
Quietly. Gradually. Real.
And if you are still showing up and still practicing, you are not behind. You are in the middle of the turn.
(If this post hit home, you’ll probably connect with my new book, The Light Between the Leaves. It’s a practical guide for the days when “try harder” stops working.
-Scott
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FAQ
Q: Can anxiety routines be a sign of depression?Yes. Many people with high-functioning depression use anxiety routines as coping strategies. These routines often mask deeper struggles but also keep people stuck.
Q: What’s the difference between healthy preparation and an anxiety routine?Preparation helps you engage with life. Anxiety routines prevent you from living it. The difference is whether the habit expands or shrinks your world.
Q: What if I’ve tried therapy and it hasn’t helped?You’re not broken. Traditional therapy often overlooks people who need practical, science-based strategies. That’s why I share tools that most mental health providers aren’t teaching.