5 Everyday Habits That Affect Mental Health and What to Do Instead
When getting through an ordinary day takes everything you have, watching other people do it so easily can make you question yourself.
I spent years observing people, trying to figure out what they understood about life that I had somehow missed. I thought that living the way they lived might help me function the way they functioned.
I tried it. Some of those habits made managing my mental health harder.
When you live with depression or anxiety, you may have less room to sacrifice sleep, ignore stress, or put your needs off until the weekend. That can feel unfair. You already spend so much energy managing your mind, and now even your downtime requires some care.
But recognizing your needs gives you a way forward. You can begin building a routine around what actually helps you function, rather than what everyone else seems able to get away with. These five habits that affect mental health are worth examining.
Give Your Body a Place in Your Schedule
Many of us learned early to keep working when our bodies needed something. We waited for permission to use the bathroom. Later, we skipped lunch to finish a task or stayed awake to meet a deadline.
Eventually, ignoring discomfort became automatic.
Your brain has to function inside the body you give it. Hunger, exhaustion, and physical tension deserve your attention, especially when you already struggle with your mood.
Start by noticing what happens during an ordinary day. Maybe you reach midafternoon feeling irritable and overwhelmed, then realize you have barely eaten. Maybe your evenings become harder after you spend hours sitting without a break.
Protect one need before that pattern repeats. Set aside time for lunch. Keep water within reach. Give yourself a stopping time that leaves room for sleep. Those needs belong in your schedule alongside your responsibilities.
Look at What Your Quick Fix Is Helping You Avoid
Caffeine can help you push through exhaustion. Alcohol may offer temporary relief after a stressful day. I understand the appeal of something that changes how you feel quickly.
The difficulty comes when that becomes your daily system for functioning.
Being tired with caffeine in your system feels different from having enough rest. Getting relief from stress each evening still leaves you facing the same demands tomorrow.
Pay attention to the need underneath the pattern. You might be accepting more work than you can sustain or giving yourself so little time to recover that every morning begins with a deficit.
You may have limited control over those demands. Work with the part you can influence. Ask for help with a recurring task, reconsider an optional commitment, or protect a realistic bedtime. Give yourself a chance to need less rescuing at the end of the day.
Use Some of Your Screen Time to Build Experiences
Experiences give me something to draw on when that thought shows up. Time with someone I care about. Something I made. A skill I practiced.
When most of my free time disappears into a screen, I have less of that evidence available.
I also experience anxiety about being inadequate or bad at things. Actually practicing something helps me develop confidence in my abilities. Watching other people do it rarely gives me the same benefit.
Choose a small portion of your usual scrolling time and give it a purpose before you pick up your phone. Spend ten minutes on a hobby or call someone you have wanted to catch up with.
Keep it small enough to attempt on a difficult day. You are making room for experiences that can matter to you, even when depression makes that connection harder to feel.
Speak About Yourself Without Feeding Your Harshest Thoughts
Some people can insult themselves as a joke and forget about it. My mind takes those comments seriously, especially when they touch something I already feel insecure about.
I can spend a lot of energy challenging harsh thoughts. Making jokes at my own expense gives me more of those thoughts to deal with.
Notice the language you use after a mistake. Saying, “I missed the deadline, and I need to contact someone,” describes a problem you can respond to. Calling yourself a failure makes it harder to move forward.
You can acknowledge something went badly without turning it into a judgment about everything you are.
Try leaving your most painful insecurities out of your humor. You deserve some care from the person whose voice you hear all day.
Give Yourself More Than Work to Feel Good About
There were periods in my life when I doubted I could handle regular employment. I understand how much fear and shame can build around work when your mental health makes functioning difficult.
Careers also depend on decisions other people make. Rejections, layoffs, and performance reviews can affect your livelihood. Tying your entire sense of worth to those outcomes makes each setback even harder to bear.
Pay attention to the parts of your life that deserve recognition beyond work. The patience you show someone. The effort you put into a friendship. The way you treat a person who has nothing to offer you in return.
Those things matter to me deeply. Professional success has never made up for treating people in ways I regret. Keep giving those parts of yourself time and attention, including when your career is going well.
Start With One Change You Can Learn From
I explain more about these five habits that affect mental health in the video below, including why I had to reconsider what I accepted as normal.
Choose one habit to approach differently this week. Give yourself lunch before you reach exhaustion. Put your phone down long enough to do something you care about. Catch one cruel comment before you say it about yourself.
Then notice what changes. You may find a particular part of the day becomes easier to manage. You may discover that a routine needs more adjustment.
You have probably spent plenty of time questioning what is wrong with you. I want you to give the conditions you live under some attention, too. Learning what supports your mind is worthwhile work, and you can begin with the resources and energy you have today.
(If this post hit home, you’ll probably connect with my new book, The Light Between the Leaves. It’s a practical guide for the days when “try harder” stops working.
-Scott
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FAQ
Q. Does asking someone about suicide make them more likely to do it?
No. Research summarized by NIMH indicates that directly asking about suicidal thoughts does not cause or increase suicidal thoughts or behavior. Asking clearly can help identify someone who needs support.
Q. What should I say when someone tells me they are suicidal?
Take what they are saying seriously. Listen without judgment, ask directly about suicide, and avoid debating whether they “should” feel this way. Statements such as “I’m glad you told me” and “I want to understand what’s happening” can keep the conversation open while you help connect them with support. 988 similarly recommends being direct, listening, remaining nonjudgmental, and avoiding lectures or glib reassurance.
Q. Should I leave someone alone if they are suicidal?
If someone says they intend to kill themselves or appears to be in immediate danger, do not leave them alone. Seek emergency or crisis assistance and involve another trusted person when appropriate.
Q. Can I call 988 about someone else?
Yes. In the United States, 988 encourages people concerned about a friend or loved one to contact the Lifeline for guidance and information about available resources.
Q. What should happen after the immediate suicidal crisis passes?
Keep following up. Supportive ongoing contact after a suicidal crisis or discharge from care can play an important role in suicide prevention. Help the person stay connected with professional care and follow through on the practical support you promised.
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