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What to do when working on yourself feels utterly pointless

I spent nearly a decade feeling like I was living in a downward spiral, fully convinced that no matter what I did, nothing would change. I didn’t want to be stuck, but I couldn’t bring myself to believe anything else was possible.


That kind of hopelessness doesn't always look like giving up. Sometimes, it’s quieter. It’s settling for tiny distractions, momentary relief, anything that dulls the edge of feeling like you're wasting your time trying to fix something that’s just… broken.


That was me. I didn't think of myself or my life as something worth investing in. And if I couldn’t even believe that, why would I expect anyone else to?


Looking for a Savior Outside Yourself


For years, I thought the answer would come in the form of someone else—a partner, a friend, a mentor. Some kind of metaphorical angel investor who’d see value in me where I couldn’t. Someone who’d make it all feel worthwhile.


I kept waiting for a sign, for a shift, for proof that my life was worth the work.

It never came.


What eventually moved the needle wasn’t hope, or belief, or some magical breakthrough. It was morbid curiosity. I didn’t suddenly think, “I can do this.” I thought, What would happen if I tried?


I had no faith in the outcome—just a weird itch to see what would change if I gave a little effort to something other than escaping.


The Shift: From Escape to Self-Investment


So I did the thing I was avoiding. I became my own angel investor. I started putting just a sliver of energy—what I used to spend numbing out—into trying something, anything, that might help.


The shift was imperceptible at first. No lightning bolts. No revelations. Just a stubborn, uncomfortable commitment to act even though nothing felt different.


And for a while, nothing did feel different. But over time, that tiny spark started to grow. Not because I believed in myself, but because I kept showing up anyway.


There’s always a long, awkward middle part. That stretch of time when you’re working hard and seeing nothing change. It’s not a sign that it’s not working—it’s just how the process goes.


I went through it with my YouTube channel too. For the first six months, I put in hundreds of hours with barely any response. I nearly quit. But I kept going, and eventually, it clicked.


The World Won’t Change—You Will


I used to think I’d want to engage with life once the world felt better. But the world didn’t get better. My perspective on it didn’t magically improve either, even once I wasn’t depressed anymore. The difference? I stopped waiting for the world to change, and started carving out my own little place in it.


You Don’t Have to Believe—Just Start


You don’t need blind faith. You don’t need a master plan. You just need enough energy to get curious. To do one thing differently. Not because you know it’ll work, but because you’ve never really tried.


That’s how it starts. You show up. You invest. Even when it feels like throwing everything into a black hole. You become the angel investor in a stock no one else would touch in your own life. And slowly, quietly, it starts to change.


This video shows how I navigated that thankless period between effort and results. I'll show you exactly how to build that tiny spark into sustainable change without getting trapped in analysis paralysis.


-Scott

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