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The Truth About Failure That Changed My Life

Updated: May 8

Success isn't about avoiding failure—it's about finding your true limits. True growth comes from pushing past self-imposed boundaries until you discover what you're genuinely capable of achieving.


I spent years letting anxiety dictate my capabilities, avoiding challenges that might expose my perceived weaknesses. But through weightlifting and academic pursuits, I discovered something I wish I’d known sooner: my real limits were so much further than I imagined. And chances are, yours are too.


If you’ve spent most of your life staying one step away from the things you really want because you’re afraid you might fail, I get it. I’ve been there. The fear of failure doesn’t just feel like fear—it feels like shame, embarrassment, and the belief that you’re not enough. That kind of fear isn’t just uncomfortable. It can feel paralyzing.


I used to avoid anything that required me to perform in front of people. I wasn’t just nervous, I felt like I’d rather disappear than mess up in front of others. That fear shaped a lot of my decisions. It shaped what I avoided, what I attempted, and how I evaluated myself. But over time, I learned something important, not all failure is created equal.


There’s failure that crushes you—and failure that frees you


Some failure is the kind you avoid because it hurts, and I’m not here to minimize that. But there’s another kind of failure, one that actually helps you grow. And the crazy thing is, you won’t know which kind it is until you get close to it.


I first learned this in the gym, back in my early 20s. I was lifting weights, thinking I knew my limits—until the day a friend introduced me to the concept of going to failure. We loaded the bench, I laid down, and I pushed myself to what I thought was my max. But instead of stopping at eight reps like I usually did, I hit eighteen. Eighteen.


It was the first time I realized how far off my perception was from reality. I had been coasting—setting invisible limits for myself based on nothing but fear and discomfort. That lesson followed me into other areas of my life. School. Work. Relationships. I realized I had been backing off just before reaching what I thought was the edge, never once asking myself if that edge was real.


You don’t have to guess anymore


You might be doing the same thing. Maybe you left school early and now wonder how far you could’ve gone. Maybe you’ve always wanted to try something—a new career, a return to education, a business idea but you’re afraid of how it might feel to not make it. Deciding you can’t do something without trying isn’t safety. It’s self-sabotage disguised as caution.

What would happen if you let the world show you your limit, instead of guessing where it might be? What if you didn’t stop until you hit your real edge—whether that’s a master’s degree, a thriving business, or a new version of your life?


You are not your anxiety’s version of you


Your brain might be telling you that you’re not capable. That you’ll fail. That you’re wasting your time. But it’s probably wrong because it’s been wrong before. The only way to quiet that voice is to prove it wrong through action.


It’s not about toxic positivity. It’s about recalibrating your understanding of yourself based on evidence, not fear. Go find your limit. And if you fail? At least now you’ll know. That’s not defeat—that’s data. And from there, you can build something real.


If you want to learn to differentiate between harmful and beneficial failure, along with practical strategies to break free from self-sabotage, watch the video below. You’ll learn how to use controlled failure as a tool for personal growth and self-discovery.



-Scott

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