Practical Psychological Strategies For Coping With Pet Loss
- Dr. Scott Eilers, PsyD, LP
- 21 hours ago
- 3 min read
Society often tells us that grief over animals isn’t valid, that it’s somehow “lesser” than human loss. But the pain of losing an animal companion can be just as devastating as losing a human loved one.
As someone who's experienced profound pet loss multiple times, I understand the deep ache and emptiness that follows.
The journey through pet grief requires both short-term coping strategies and long-term healing techniques.
The First Days: Surviving the Shock
In those early days, the pain can feel relentless. One of the most helpful things I’ve learned is to temporarily put away the triggers. Food bowls, collars, crates—anything that forces the loss back to the front of your mind every time you see it. You’re already grieving; you don’t need the constant reminders.
And please, don’t rush into replacing your pet. That impulse makes sense—you’re hurting and want to pour your love somewhere—but bringing home a new pet too soon just delays your grief. It doesn’t make it disappear. It just pushes it down until it resurfaces later, even harder.
Let the Grief Move Through You
Grief moves in waves. Some moments you’ll be overwhelmed—sobbing, unable to think. Other times, it lifts, and you feel strangely okay. That’s not denial or weakness. That’s your system taking a break from the emotional strain. Let the pain come and go. When it’s strong, feel it fully. When it subsides, rest.
Don’t shame yourself for the depth of your sadness. Pet loss grief is valid. The worst thing you can do is try to suppress or talk yourself out of it. That doesn’t help. It just stores the pain for later.
Don’t Forget the Basics
Even though nothing tastes good, and nothing feels fun, you still need food. You still need sleep. You still need other people. Your body and brain are working overtime to process the loss. Give them what they need. This isn’t about forcing yourself to “move on”—it’s about keeping yourself afloat while the storm passes.
Once You’re Functioning Again, Start Healing
When you’ve stabilized—when you’re back at work, talking to friends, not crying every hour—that’s when long-term healing can begin.
There’s often a set of unspoken regrets that show up after loss. Things like “thank you,” “I love you,” “please forgive me,” or even “I forgive you.” These may seem unnecessary or too late. They’re not. Say them out loud, write them down, or just hold them in your thoughts. These expressions can open the door to real closure.
Gratitude Comes Later—And It’s Powerful
People mean well when they say “at least you had 15 good years.” But early on, that kind of gratitude feels hollow. It comes later, when the sharpest pain has dulled. When it does, remembering the bond, the joy, the silly habits—those memories can begin to feel like gifts instead of wounds.
You Won’t Forget—But You Will Feel Better
Some grief never leaves completely. That’s okay. You’re not trying to forget your pet. You’re learning how to live with the love and the loss. Over time, the pain will hit less often. When it does, it won’t last as long. That’s what healing looks like.
This video guides you through proven methods to process your pet loss grief authentically. You'll learn practical steps to honor your feelings and move forward without rushing or suppressing your emotions.
-Scott
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