How to Reduce Anxiety by Confronting What You Fear
- Dr. Scott Eilers, PsyD, LP
- Aug 1
- 3 min read
Avoiding your fears might seem like a way to reduce anxiety—but it actually makes life more terrifying. When you dodge what scares you, you don’t eliminate the fear. You carry every possible outcome at once. That invisible weight builds, especially when you’re unsure about your health, finances, career, or relationships.
And here's the real kicker: fear of the unknown doesn’t just stress you out. It shuts you down. I’ve been there—frozen in place, running worst-case loops in my head, too scared to move forward because of what I might discover. Avoidance pretends to protect you, but it actually multiplies your fear.
What Avoiding the Truth Actually Costs You
Let’s talk real life.
A while back, I started having some weird health symptoms. Naturally, I Googled them. The internet gave me 10 answers, nine harmless, one terrifying. Guess which one I latched onto? But did I go to the doctor? Nope. I avoided it for weeks.
Why? Because I was afraid they'd confirm the worst. That’s what avoidance does, it pretends to keep you safe, while your brain quietly spirals through every awful scenario. Avoiding the truth might feel safer, but it keeps you stuck in fear.
How Facing the Fear Sets You Free
When I launched Northstar Psychological Center, the first year was chaos. I knew the budget was a mess but I didn’t want to face the numbers. What if we were broke? What if I had to lay off staff?
So I avoided looking.
Eventually, I sat down and pulled the numbers. And they weren’t great but they were manageable. The fear had painted a way worse picture than reality. Once I named the fear, it became something I could solve.
You Don’t Need Certainty, You Need a Step
Fear of the unknown isn’t just about uncertainty. It’s about the belief that you can’t handle the truth. Every time you avoid a hard thing, you reinforce that lie: “I’m not strong enough for this.”
But you are.
The only way to prove it is to take a step. Just one. Face the thing you're avoiding. Even if it confirms a fear, you now have something real to respond to—instead of a horror movie your brain keeps looping.
You’re Stronger Than Your Fear Story
I’ve done it both ways: I’ve avoided the truth and suffered needlessly. I’ve faced it and started making progress. The second path? Not easy. But freeing.
Each time you face your fear, you shrink it. You build trust in yourself. You show your brain: I can handle this.
You don’t need to fix everything today.
But you do need to look.
That’s the only way forward.
In this video, I share real strategies that helped me transform anxiety into action.
-Scott
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