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Is Your Personality a Problem? How Understanding Your Traits Can Set You Free

Updated: Aug 17

Some areas of life feel stuck, no matter how hard you work at them.


You push, reflect, tweak, repeat and still, certain parts of you don’t shift. It’s tempting to call those things flaws. But they’re not. Personality isn’t a flaw to fix, it’s a unique feature.

That said, I don’t think we should jump too quickly to acceptance either. In fact, I believe we often underestimate how much we can truly change. Habits, beliefs, values, those are flexible. But some traits are more like the hardware. You can build incredible things with them, but swapping them out entirely? That’s a different story.


This hit home for me when I spent years trying to become more extroverted. I saw how easily some people made friends, how naturally they spoke up, how it all seemed to come without effort. I wanted that. So I worked at it. And while I did get better socially, it never stopped feeling like work. I was still an introvert, just a skilled one.


The Big Five personality traits helped me understand that distinction. These five core traits show up differently for everyone. None of them are good or bad. What matters is knowing where you sit on the spectrum and learning how to work with it instead of against it.


1. Extroversion: Energy In, Energy Out


People high in extroversion often thrive in busy, social environments. They gain energy from people, enjoy being seen, and tend to build broad networks easily. For them, engagement is a source of fuel.


Introverts, those lower on this scale may prefer deep, one-on-one conversations and quiet spaces. An introvert can host the party, but they’ll need solitude afterward to recover.

The goal isn’t to flip sides. It’s to design your social life in a way that supports your energy, not depletes it.


2. Openness to Experience: Newness vs. Stability


High openness shows up as curiosity, creativity, and a drive toward novelty. These folks tend to embrace change, jump into new ideas, and explore more.


Low openness isn't closed-mindedness, it’s a preference for familiarity, routine, and predictability. And that’s not a weakness. Some of life’s best outcomes come from showing up consistently and doing the same thing well over time.


If repetition soothes you, lean into that. If newness excites you, build space for it. Either way, it’s about working with your temperament, not against it.


3. Conscientiousness: Drive, Discipline, and Downtime

Those high in conscientiousness tend to chase achievement, stay organized, and find purpose in productivity. They often look like they have it all together but they can also burn out faster, struggle to relax, or tie their worth to output.


Lower conscientiousness might mean it takes more effort to stick to routines or follow through. But these same people often enjoy life more in the moment. They’re less perfectionistic, more spontaneous, and usually easier on themselves.


There’s no ideal level, just a need to balance effort with recovery and self-expectation with compassion.


4. Agreeableness: Caring and Conflict


High agreeableness leans toward empathy, cooperation, and putting others first. These folks often maintain strong relationships but can lose themselves in the process. Boundary-setting becomes harder when your default is harmony.


Low agreeableness isn’t cruelty. It’s directness. People lower on this scale are often more assertive, more honest in conflict, and less swayed by people-pleasing instincts. That can be tough in sensitive environments, but powerful in situations that call for clarity and conviction.


Knowing where you land here can help you navigate both connection and confrontation with more intention.


5. Neuroticism: Depth, Emotion, and Sensitivity


High neuroticism comes with deeper emotional reactions. Fear, sadness, frustration, they show up faster and louder. That can feel heavy. But it also brings awareness. People high in this trait are often more tuned in to others’ pain, more prepared for setbacks, and more empathetic overall.


Low neuroticism means stress bounces off more easily. It’s easier to roll with the punches. But sometimes, that can also mean missing subtle emotional cues or underestimating problems until they escalate.


There’s strength on both sides. The key is managing emotion, not muting it.


Let the Traits Guide You, Not Define You


There’s freedom in understanding where your tendencies come from. It doesn’t lock you in, it gives you a better map. Some parts of you may always feel a little different. You don’t need to change your nature. You need to stop fighting it, and start building around it.


You’ll learn more about when to change habits and when to accept traits in the video below.


-Scott

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