2 Strategies for Managing the Chronic Exhaustion of Being Mentally Ill
- Dr. Scott Eilers, PsyD, LP
- 2 days ago
- 4 min read
If you're doing everything "right" and still feel wrecked by the end of every day, there's a reason for that, and it probably has less to do with your effort than you think.
Why Mental Illness Comes With Its Own Kind of Chronic Exhaustion
Living with a chronic mental illness adds one more constant to your life to worry about and one more resource to manage on top of everything else. Every second of your day carries that weight. For me, depression has been harder than graduate school. Harder than owning a business. Harder than being a husband and a parent. It's the tallest mountain I've ever had to scale, and I suspect if you're reading this, you understand exactly what I mean.
After 42 years of being my own test subject, I've landed on a theory that explains why this chronic exhaustion hits so hard, and why some days feel ten times heavier than others even when nothing objectively changes.
The Real Drain Hides in the Transitions
Here's what I've noticed. Once I'm at work, I don't really mind doing my job. Once I'm at the gym, I don't mind working out. Once I've started folding laundry, I don't mind finishing it. The hard part is getting there. The hard part is getting off the couch.
That shift from rest to action is where chronic exhaustion quietly eats your energy reserves. Those of us with chronic mental health conditions have so much more to overcome in that moment. We negotiate with ourselves constantly. Am I really up for this? What if I start and can't finish? What if I fail? That internal conversation is exhausting, and most of us are having it for hours every single day without ever counting the cost.
This reframe led me to two strategies that have changed how I move through my days.
Strategy 1: Enter Work Mode Only Once a Day
The single most useful change I've made is this. I try to enter and exit work mode only once per day. One transition in, one long stretch of doing things, one transition out.
On a good day, I might have eleven hours of usable energy. But every time I break from work and re-enter it, that transition costs me about an hour of fuel. So if I take two long, restful breaks in the middle of my day, I've burned two hours of capacity just getting myself going again. That's often the difference between finishing my workday with enough left to cook dinner and exercise, or collapsing on the couch with nothing left at all.
Work, for me, is any action that moves me toward a goal. My job, a workout, making dinner, picking up the house. I batch all of it inside one long window so I only pay the transition cost once.
Strategy 2: Shape Your Day Like a Plateau
The second shift is respecting how your body actually moves through energy. Mornings should gently ramp you up, not hit you with a jarring switch from scrolling to sprinting. I give myself fifteen quiet minutes, then something light like a few easy emails or some stretching, and then the harder stuff. Evenings work the same way in reverse. I avoid anything high-stimulation in the last couple of hours before bed because it only makes sleep harder to reach.
Visually, a good day looks like a plateau. A gentle rise, a long low peak in the middle, and a gentle fall. A day shaped like a heart-rate monitor with sharp spikes and drops will drain you every time.
Way Through the Chronic Exhaustion
Twenty years ago, I couldn't have managed a single one of the things I carry now. Three businesses, an involved marriage, two kids, and a body I actually take care of. None of that came from trying harder. It came from designing my days around how my mind and body actually work instead of fighting them.
Chronic exhaustion is real, and it's heavy, but it responds to design. Give yourself fewer transitions and gentler edges, and you'll be surprised how much more day you actually have left.
(If this post hit home, you’ll probably connect with my new book, The Light Between the Leaves. It’s a practical guide for the days when “try harder” stops working.
-Scott
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FAQ
Q: Can anxiety routines be a sign of depression?Yes. Many people with high-functioning depression use anxiety routines as coping strategies. These routines often mask deeper struggles but also keep people stuck.
Q: What’s the difference between healthy preparation and an anxiety routine?Preparation helps you engage with life. Anxiety routines prevent you from living it. The difference is whether the habit expands or shrinks your world.
Q: What if I’ve tried therapy and it hasn’t helped?You’re not broken. Traditional therapy often overlooks people who need practical, science-based strategies. That’s why I share tools that most mental health providers aren’t teaching.
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