Breaking Free From Emotional Poverty: How To Use Your Better Days Wisely
- Dr. Scott Eilers, PsyD, LP
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
If everyday feels like you’re already behind before the day even starts, I get it. That feeling hits hard when you’re living with long-term depression, anxiety, ADHD, PTSD, or anything else that slows your pace and drains your capacity. Even on the lighter days, when symptoms loosen their grip, you can feel like you’re running a race you never signed up for.
The Pressure That Sneaks Into Your “Better Days”
Those days when the clouds lift should feel like relief. But often, they become another source of pressure.
The moment you feel even a hint of momentum, an internal voice kicks in:
“Hurry. Catch up. Make up for all the time you lost.”
It becomes two modes of living:
The heavy mode: everything is slow, overwhelming, and hard to start.
The “almost okay” mode: where the fear of losing that small window pushes you to overload yourself.
This pressure turns better days into survival sprints. And that cycle is exhausting.
Shifting Out of Emotional Poverty
I call this emotional poverty because the math is brutal: every day takes more than your system can refill. Eventually even rest stops helping, because you’re too depleted to benefit from it.
What changed things for me wasn’t squeezing more productivity into the good days. It was learning to invest instead of spending everything the second I got it.
An investment takes effort now but pays you back later.
That’s the shift.
Building Energy Instead of Burning Through It
1. Strengthen your relationships slowly and intentionally.
Not new people, your people. On days when symptoms ease up, you have more space for honest conversations and small repairs. These efforts build emotional stability that supports you long after the good day is gone.
2. Start repairing your sleep even if it feels uncomfortable at first.
When your sleep cycles have been wrecked for months, the reset usually starts with discomfort. The best time to begin is a day you’re not at zero.
3. Bring hobbies and nutrition back to the middle.
When overwhelmed, we swing between extremes: doing nothing for weeks or suddenly trying to overhaul everything. The real progress comes from the middle, steady, livable routines that don’t depend on motivation.
4. Rebuild competence even in tiny ways.
Depression destroys your sense of capability. Learning a basic skill or returning to something you used to enjoy can quietly rebuild confidence you thought you lost.
5. Let physical health raise your floor and your ceiling.
Movement is one of the closest things we have to a universal stabilizer. It doesn’t fix everything, but it makes everything more manageable.
Moving Forward With Something Real
None of this is quick. But it is possible.
Better days don’t have to be moments you squeeze dry out of fear. They can be the days where you start building a life that feels steadier, kinder, and more sustainable. A life where your energy doesn’t slip through your fingers. A life where hope doesn’t feel theoretical, it feels practical.
You deserve a rhythm that doesn’t punish you for being human.
(If this post hit home, you’ll probably connect with my new book, The Light Between the Leaves. It’s a practical guide for the days when “try harder” stops working.
-Scott
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FAQ
Q: Can anxiety routines be a sign of depression?Yes. Many people with high-functioning depression use anxiety routines as coping strategies. These routines often mask deeper struggles but also keep people stuck.
Q: What’s the difference between healthy preparation and an anxiety routine?Preparation helps you engage with life. Anxiety routines prevent you from living it. The difference is whether the habit expands or shrinks your world.
Q: What if I’ve tried therapy and it hasn’t helped?You’re not broken. Traditional therapy often overlooks people who need practical, science-based strategies. That’s why I share tools that most mental health providers aren’t teaching.