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6 Strategies to Break Free from Anxiety Routines

Updated: Sep 24

Anxiety routines can take over your life. They convince you that you need them to survive, whether it’s mentally rehearsing every word before a family dinner, or spending 45 minutes deciding what to order before you even get to the restaurant.


At first, they feel protective. But over time, they stop helping. They become a trap.

I’ve lived this. I’ve watched people I care about live this. And I’ve worked with hundreds of people stuck in the same exhausting cycle. There are ways through it. Not overnight. Not perfectly. But step by step, they work.


Here are six strategies that can help you start loosening anxiety’s grip.


1. Take Care of Something That’s Not You


When you only manage your own needs, it’s easy to stay in the bubble of your routine. Nothing forces change.


But take care of a pet? Suddenly, you’re dealing with surprises. A sick cat. A walk in the rain. A 6 a.m. wakeup. They don’t care about your planning window.


Years ago, I was isolated and barely leaving the house. Then my mom dropped off a cat who needed stitches removed that day. Blizzard outside, panic inside. I almost convinced myself I could do it at home but I didn’t. I drove to the vet, drenched in sweat, sure I was dying. But I did it.


Because it wasn’t about me anymore.


That moment shifted everything. Responsibility for something outside yourself can push you through the walls anxiety builds and prove you can take action.


2. Take Action Before You Feel Ready


Anxiety tells you that you must wait until you’re 100% ready. That’s a lie.


Start by lowering the threshold. If you usually need to feel 90% prepared, try moving at 80%. If you usually rehearse for 3 hours, cut it to 2 hours and 45 minutes.


Then—this is key—watch what happens.


Did the event actually go worse? Did anything collapse? Or did you make it through anyway?



3. Finish the Story Your Brain Cuts Off


Anxiety thrives on vague doom. “Something will go wrong” is its favorite line.

So finish the story.


What if you forget your order? The waiter waits five seconds. What if the conversation at the party stalls? You say, “I’m not sure,” and someone else fills the silence.


Don’t stop the tape at the scariest part. Play it through. Most of the time, you’ll realize the ending is uncomfortable not catastrophic.


4. Invite Disruption on Purpose


This sounds harsh, but it works: disrupt your own script.


Plan your grocery route ahead of time? Ask a friend to text you a random item once you’re already inside. Routine shattered.


Good. Because when you adapt (and you will adapt), you prove to yourself that you’re not helpless without the routine. That your anxiety isn’t the only one calling the shots.


5. Build Skills That Work Everywhere


Instead of obsessing over dozens of what-ifs, focus on tools that work in any situation:


  • Breathing that calms your nervous system.

  • Mindfulness that grounds you in the present.

  • A mantra that reminds you of your worth.


Unlike scripts, these don’t depend on predicting the future. They work anywhere, anytime. Building confidence in them cuts your prep time and your anxiety in half.


6. Start Giving Yourself Credit


This may be the hardest one. But you’ve already handled far more than your anxiety lets you believe.


You’ve had awkward conversations that didn’t ruin anything. You’ve gone out on tough days and made it home. You’ve had moments that “should” have gone badly, and they didn’t.


But you forget those. Anxiety edits them out, leaving only failures on repeat. The evidence is there: you’re not fragile, you’re capable. Start using that record.


Breaking the Cycle


You don’t need to become someone who loves chaos. That’s not the goal.


But the routines that feel safe, comforting, and necessary? They’re quietly draining your energy, shrinking your confidence, and keeping you from living.


The way out is simple, but not easy: start small. Make a little mess. Leave a little earlier. Skip a step. Let it feel uncomfortable and notice that you made it through anyway.


Because here’s the truth: anxiety doesn’t need to be erased for you to live fully. You just need to prove to yourself, again and again, that it doesn’t run your life.


That’s how freedom starts. One disrupted routine at a time.


-Scott

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FAQ

Q: Can anxiety routines be a sign of depression?Yes. Many people with high-functioning depression use anxiety routines as coping strategies. These routines often mask deeper struggles but also keep people stuck.


Q: What’s the difference between healthy preparation and an anxiety routine?Preparation helps you engage with life. Anxiety routines prevent you from living it. The difference is whether the habit expands or shrinks your world.


Q: What if I’ve tried therapy and it hasn’t helped?You’re not broken. Traditional therapy often overlooks people who need practical, science-based strategies. That’s why I share tools that most mental health providers aren’t teaching.





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