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Where does the pain come from?

Have you ever considered the lifetime pain value of a decision?


That might sound strange - you might have no idea what it even means - so let me give a little context.


Life is filled with pain. I know I don't need to tell you that. I know you've experienced some of the worst life has to offer. I know you feel it even when it's not happening. I know you'd do almost anything to stop that pain - except on the days where you can't find the strength the fight it. I know.


I also know there are different kinds of pain.


One kind of pain occurs immediately, while the event is happening. Another kind of pain occurs after an event when you're stuck with the physical, emotional, mental, and/or spiritual shrapnel. Often, either of those two pains are enough to derail life.


But there's a third kind of pain. I'm going to call this pain voluntary. Voluntary because this one is a choice. In the first two pains, you can't do a whole lot about them. The event happened. The fallout exists. Yes, you can undergo certain things to try and come to terms, maybe even repair - therapy, medicine, surgery, forgiveness, whatever the case may be.


But the third kind of pain only has one solution. This third pain is the pain of never taking action - the pain of regret. Sure, there is pain in trying and failing. There's pain in losing. There is pain in humiliation and shame and financial burden and social stigma. But this is where the lifetime pain value comes into play.


Chasing something you want is inherently setting you up for some kind of pain. The real question is: which flavor of pain do you choose?


Do you opt for the sharp, vivid sting of starting – awkward, scary, vulnerable, filled with risks and potential stumbles?


Or do you settle for the gnawing, subtle ache of sitting back, haunted by the ghost of ‘what could have been’, never daring to chase what you truly desire?


Pain is subjective, but believe me, the slow burn of regret – that daily reminder that you didn’t even try – is a far crueler fate. So let's face it: pain is part of the package, no matter which path you take. You can either drag it out with procrastination, fear, denial, or you can embrace it head-on.


You get to decide.


If you're struggling to make that decision, I understand. This video may be the best place for you to start. 


- Scott 


 

Resources


For those suffering with depression and feeling unseen and helpless, I wrote this for you - because I was you.




I'm an advocate for sleep as a critical part of good mental health, but I also know that so many with depression and anxiety can't or struggle to get the sleep your mind so desperately needs.


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